Today we were issued our weapons, the M16A2. It's black, big, and one heavy rifle...at least for my weak arms. Well it's not that bad, but having to carry it around all day I get tired. It's really neat to finally start looking the part of soldiers even though it involves sleeping with a huge killing machine at the foot of my bed!

Another cool thing we did today were some puzzling challenges that require teamwork, such as getting over a giant wall and getting safely to the other side without touching the ground or certain objects. I haven't done so many daring things in my life! It's fun though, and I really got to know some of the guys from our platoon. I'm the only female in sixth squad. Goodness, I hurt so badly!

Yesterday we sat in the classroom practically all day and also did our first PT run groups. I think I poped out after 1.25 miles. The running group I'm part of went 1.50 miles, I think. I kept running for as long as I could though, and I feel proud about that. Same with the challenges we had today: I worked my tush off!

Now here's the bad news. Being in a room of now 53 other females is awful. There are maybe four to five troublemakers while everyone else just tries to stay out of it. Unfortunately, I think it must be impossible for me to not somehow be involved due to my extroversion, charisma, disabilities, and even my intimate relationship with God. I have just been continuously attacked. Now there are rumors going around that I'm not only a thief, but that I am bulimic, hit myself, and am a cutter. I'm learning new problems about myself every day, it seems.

The mistrust by many of the cliquey females towards me is understandable due to my forgetfulness. The hitting myself was simply a desperate attempt to keep myself awake in class yesterday, only they took it to a much higher level just because they could. But Bulimia and cutting? Where did THAT come from?! So when our main Drill Sergeant, I, confronted me last night about the shocking news that I have Bulimia last night, I broke down and cried right in front of her. The other problems (hitting myself, cutting, etc) I learned about only today. God has placed certain people around me who help me carry on, remember things, and so on, anyway. I just hope I don't discharged for something so false!

Anyway, she thought that it would be best I go to a mental health evaluation, because she's noticed that I'm a space-case or something. At least she said I appeared like a very cheerful person, but she said she wasn't taking any chances and was doing to cover her butt just in case. Maybe talking to this shrink person will help...I don't know. I'm so stressed out!

Anyway, the first sergeant, a really super cool guy, called me out during PT this morning and asked about the situation. When I told him, he sighed and shook his head, muttering about having to deal with females like this every cycle. He said that if I were in trouble, he'd be doing something about it and not to worry because he doesn't see anything wrong with me at all.

On the bright side, PX (Army store) tomorrow! I can finally get some stamps and send these letters that have been sitting around. Falling asleep....night....