Four Months Later...

I have been here around four months now. I could live here, but I can't say I enjoy TRADOC. TRADOC is when you're in military student status. Particular restrictions apply that don't normally apply in the operational (non-TRADOC) Army. Here, Sergeants are supposed to appear mean I suppose. It's all about perception anyways.

My next duty station is Ft. Bragg, NC which is home of the Airborne Infantry and Green Berets. I will be running a whole lot there, God help me. I was hoping to increase my PT scores while here at AIT but stupidly when on "shin splints" profile and then a week later after getting off of profile, I sprained and fractured my right ankle. This has depressed me. I feel discouraged as those around me continue to improve and I become considerably less.

In classes here we have Block 1.1 1.2 1.3 "DIN" and Block 2. An auto-wash test is a test that sends you back to the class closest to the area you failed in on your first failure. There are only about two of these. One in 1.1 and one in 1.3. I was supposed to be in Block 2 right now but I failed an auto-wash test in 1.3, and unfortunately was sent a month back. I have had to retake tests in my class up to this point which has been stressful because I wasn't sure I'd pass them again - but I did. :) This Thursday I take the test I failed last time. I'm really scared. I should've been able to pass it the first time but I'd panicked, as my teacher described, and he saw it coming all along. [shrug]

I have nothing to worry about really. The five others (out of our class of thirteen) who failed with me have failed around five tests. If a student fails six tests, they're recommended for re-class, which is a change of MOS (Military Occupational Specialty). The education here is good but fast and difficult. Either you'll get it or you won't. I have failed two tests now. I failed the 1.2 test because of something so simple, but it answered about six questions on the test...mayhaps more, but I am unsure as it was a while ago. Anyway, I also went from night shift to day shift, and switched from 3rd PLT to 2nd PLT. Now THAT was a HARD transition.

God has been taking care of me here. Unfortunately I have not been to church regularly at all. The things I've done here make me wonder how good of a "Christian" I really am. I so desperately need the love and support from my church as close as before. But I cannot. I must tread this path with God on my own, for now.

I have become a Chapel Student Leader (CSL) or "white-rope." Here, it's an AirForce thing, so I can't wear the white rope on my uniform. Ah well. I like doing shifts at The Crossroads. I'm part of their group on Facebook, check it out. I've met a lot of neat people since I started volunteering my time there.

I've also become pretty intimate with my friend B.J. Our friendship is a strange one, but not one I dislike. I'm satisfied with where we're at. We camped out this weekend, which was awesome. Sitting on the cement blocks on the lake reminded me of home and I even got weepy.

I also got a care package from my church. This also made me very weepy.

Ah another week's about to roll in. The three, almost four day weekend was a blast but I have to concentrate on NOT failing this test again. It's on Thursday, and I need all the prayer I can get, should God be merciful enough. He's much more merciful than he should be, but that's what makes him so wonderful, in part.

Love you all! Got to go :D

P.S. Also to note, all I can think about is dancing. As soon as I get time at my next duty station, I am going to dance my heart out with ballet, hip hop, tap, ballroom, salsa...whatever rhythm I can get my body to dance to! It's my escape, my heart, my self. :D